Life Loops!!!

Skipping ropes is really something isn't it guys???

No matter how high you jump, you always have to come back to earth with a thud.

Ouch!!!!

A sweet dream!!!

A pure, sweet dream.

A cold morning.

A dazed day.

Dull Soliloquies.

Thankless toil.

Malicious comments.

Polite conversations.

Peppered bites.

Broken benches.

Fathomless friendship.

Wandering words.

Beautiful breeze.

Peace.

Sweet nothings.

Nothing’s sweet.

Distressed dilemmas.

Hope for another sweet dream.

at times life can get to you!!!

I heard
her heart
beat my name
but
with
a
wrong spelling.

STILL I RISE.....

 

You may write me down in history;
With your bitter, twisted lies;
You may trod me in the very dirt;
But still, like a true champion, I'll rise.

Does my continued victory upset you?
Why does my triumph give you sleepless nights?
Ask your own conscience and you'll get the answer;
Because you want to emulate me but is not able to do so.

Just like moons and like suns;
With the certainty of tides;
Just like hopes springing high;
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops;
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my arrogance offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard;
Because whatever you may say at my back;
I refuse to give a bloody damn?

You may shoot me with your words;
You may cut me with your eyes;
You may kill me with your hatefulness;
But still, like wind, I'll rise.

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise;
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise;
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise;
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise;
I am the dream and the hope and the future;
For whatever be the odds against me,
Whomsoever be the one against me,
Wherever be the conspiracy against me waged,
Still, like an eternal phoenix, from the ashes,
I rise
I rise
I rise.

-ma

What's so special with tea???

What's so special with tea?

Mom says; milk, sugar & leaves

thats all there to tea.

You sure its that simple?

then why can't I make a fine cup, ever?

What's so special with tea? so unique?

Keeping the knot, knotted

..to hold and to love and to cherish you for the rest of my life.

Its all wrong.

..to hold and to love and to argue and to fight and to sulk and then to make up grudgingly and then realise that no matter how many chances God would give me,I would still do it all over again and cherish you for the rest of my life.

Now,that sounds perfect If only vows were modified like this,marriages would last longer.

Where are the golden days of Malayalam cinema ?

Malayalam film industry is considered to be one of the best in the country with original scripts and realistic picturisation. For its commendable contributions to the Indian cinema, it has received a number of national and international awards year after year. Even in the recent national award declared (2007), When Lage Raho Munnabhai won 3 awards, it was the malayalam films which won 8 awards including the best film. But at the end of the day there was every little said about it in the national T.V channels, as they were behind the stars of 'Munnabhai' and others.Though, the industry has earned the name and fame of bringing out quality content, now the industry is at the threshold of an era where it may soon get extinct. The presence of high budget Tamil, Hindi and English movies has done a severe damage to malayalam. Above all the recent formation of rebel group among the technicians may just ruin the whole industry. The internal politics is such that, its almost impossible for anyone desiring to make a movie on his own and showcase it to the public. The theatre owners, producers, directors, superstars are all tied up and there is no scope for independent film makers. The only way out of this situation is perhaps when multiplexes come in and they demand quality films rather than slapstick comedy or star studded films.
We hope that the glorious days of malayalam movie will be s0on back and the silly disputes would have no place in the industry.

The Immortal

They killed me, but I would not die.

Yea! all day and all night

For me they could not rest nor sleep,

Nor guard from me nor hide in flight

Then in their agony, they turned

And made their hands red in blood.

In vain - for faster than they slew

I rose more stronger than before.

I pushed on with slaughter mad;

I fought till all my strength was gone.

And still they rose to torture me,

For Devils only die for fun.

The Beslan School Siege

September 1 st, 2004 was the day when a group of militant stormed into a school in Beslan, Russia and took hostage of nearly 1100 students. On 3 rd September, the Russian armed forces attacked the militants and nearly 300 people in which nearly 180 were schoolchildren were killed. The act of terrorism shocked the people in Russia and left many parents childless. The main demand of the militants was the withdrawl of Russian troops from Chechnya and independence for Chechnya(A place in Russia). The militants threatened and said, "If anyone of us is killed, we'll shoot 50 people. If anyone of us is wounded, we'll kill 20 people. If 5 of us are killed, we'll blow up everything. If the light, communication are cut off for a minute, we'll shoot 10 people." Later, the militants said there was also an alternative option: if President Putin submitted a letter of resignation, the captors would "release all the children and go back to Chechnya with others." But no-one was ready for any negotiation and finally the whole drama came to an end in brutal violence. We pay our tribute to the lost lives and pray to God that such a thought doesn't arise in anybody's mind again...

I so wish......

It happens involuntarily: I open my mouth and what comes out is loud, angry and something I'm going to regret later. It happens so often - I say something I didn't mean to. More often, say it the way I didn't mean to. That voice doesn't seem like mine, the moment those words are out I know they'll make me feel sorry! It's like quicksilver, that moment: before I can touch it, it disappears. And while it's there, it's created a situation for me that I didn't plan.
And then, I must take onus for it - those words did come out of my mouth! And no matter how much I want to disown them, they're mine; mine to haunt me forever.
In retrospect, these moments don't seem to have occurred at all and I would easily forget them but for all the evidence around me that tells me I have erred, that make a moment a mountain. I see it in the faces around me, their exaggerated reactions, my conscience.
I have never been slow to take responsibility for my actions, to apologise. But often, there isn't any time to apologise; I have already triggered a set of reactions that are ugly.
I have labored to keep my resolve not to repeat these words that are mine and not yet. But what voice inside me refuses to be quelled? What latent anger inside me decides to burst forth at the most inopportune time? Why will it not go away?

the long & winding Road !!!

My Mum says God has a plan for all of us. And that no matter how many plans we make, only His will work out. Yet, when I look at people around me I marvel at how well they've planned everything in life and seem to know exactly how they want things to be: they marry, have children two years down the line, make smart career moves, invest in the right mutual funds, do whatever and I'm still meandering on a path that God has decided for me!
Sometimes, I grudge that I believe so much in what Mom says. Sometimes I grudge that God will not let us make our plans and stick to them.
For a very long time in my life, I did not know what I wanted from it. And that would have been better than having wanted something only to learn, with a bend in the road, that I'm on a different course altogether.
I don't regret where that road has brought me today. However, I do regret not knowing where I'm headed to now. I don't like the kind of adventure that takes me somewhere I never wanted to go. And I would like to know my destination, so I can prepare accordingly.
I'm not a vagabond who sets out on an aimless journey and makes the journey his purpose. And it troubles me to be living like one. Oh yes, I've done a lot of things in life that I wanted to, not everything in this journey has been accidental. Yet, I feel I haven't done what I was meant to and that somewhere, I've lost track of the path I had set out on. And I hate to measure the cup of life and see it half full when I compare it to others'.
And then I think of what Mum says, maybe God has a plan for me....

The place outside the mind

Sleep comes in a small bottle of clearless liquid.
Conversation comes in the silent call of a phone that never rings.
Laughter is a strange sound that falls on the ears.
Forgetfulness is an art in the course of remembering. I should remember to forget.
Love is a feeling too scared to explore.
The voice is always too far away for the fingers to touch.
Questions are the answers one doesn’t want said.
Sadness is the coziest chair I ever sat on.
Choices are the most difficult decisions to never make.
Tears are the bookmarks at every event of my life.
Death is a photograph on the wall.

No reason to love...not even Love !!!

I always tend to misspell love as lone.

You love me coz you are tired of your loneliness.
Its worse that I know it.

I'm scared you'll stop.
That I'll be a habit you can discard as easy as you got it on.

I'm scared of the buttons you'll open
And discover a body not very lovable
And even more about how you'll pretend its ok.

Once again I make the same mistake.
I stop being myself.
And try be what you want.
And end up being what neither of us wants.

I wait for you to call me.
You never do.
And when I do
I wait for me to hang up.
And I promise myself I'll not call you.
That is
Until
You call me back
And so I break an already broken promise.

I search for you
In old mails
In past friends
In touched places
In stored SMSs
In movies.
And I find you
And everywhere.
So I never call out
As that will make both of us uncomfortable.
Found
and found.

-v

Rain, rain go away !!!

"Rain, rain go away,

Come again another day,

Little Johnnie wants to play,

Rain, rain go away."

This was a rhyme I had never understood as a child. Who the deuce would want rains to go away? The exuberance shown in the Lagaan song couldn't even begin to match the exuberance of people in my sleepy little home town when the first drops touched the earth. After that everywhere you would find people quoting poems, teenagers gazing out their windows; mooning over their latest crush or writing some silly poems, moms busy preparing chai, papas having their fill of the delicacies and kids splashing about. It was an unspoken rule not to wear a raincoat or carry an umbrella during the first showers.

Cut to the queen, Cochin. Here's where I understood why little Johnnie hated the rains. It doesn't rain cats and dogs, but probably dinosaurs here. And the already bursting city finds it difficult to contain the new migrant - the rain water. There is no place on the roads or anywhere near them because there are too many vehicles already. The rivers and streams have too much muck in them to hold anymore water. So the water finds its way into your house, your garden and wherever else it can stream into.

There is nothing poetic about rains in Ernakulam because even the poets here have 'no time to stand and stare.' The moment one spots a drop of rain one starts worrying. When will it stop? Will there be a traffic jam? Will the railway tracks get flooded? Will I reach home safe? Is there high tide today? Oh god, the potholes will be back. Oh god, 2-3 months more of this..Ouch!!!!!.

RJs everywhere would start playing rain songs and would start talking of romance. RJs in Cochin also play rain songs but along with it a commentary of what places to avoid, sound bites of Corporation officials saying they have done all they could and grumpy citizens complaining about the messy rain drenched city. There are no croaking frogs here, only groaning men and women. There are no puddles filled with children's boats here, only crater like potholes. There are no rainwater ponds, only streets flooded with mucky, slushy water. And somewhere between all this there is the rubble of collapsed buildings.

Rain is more like a necessary evil in here. And the authorities don't want to deal with it. Crores of rupees have been spent on various drainage projects; but every year the situation is the same.The encroachments along the banks are still there, the river still is filled with muck. The roads are as crowded as they always were. And this year, with metros, skywalks and flyovers under construction, the traffic situation is going to be worse during the rains.

As I look out of my window and see the swarm of people and vehicles trying to commute in the pouring rain, I realize that I can empathise with Johnnie today, after all even I would hate to get to work in this rain!

Our Parents Strongest!!!!

My buddies have been having those bumpy nights lately and somehow that has taken me back to the time when we used to come home from school really late...

At least some of you guys know how difficult its to get a bus to Aluva after 7....so I used to reach home pretty late especially when there's some upcoming event in school...mom and dad would be at the edge of their seats, watching TV, but always looking from the door bell to ring. When I look back, I can't really pin-point what to make of their parenthood.

Our parents could easily have been those careful, mindful parents who didn't let their children work with their passion even at the eve of examinations. They should have been, if you think conventionally. For there were more chances than less that we could have met with many of those sorry incidents on the long, lonely stretch. And they weren't the mobile-happy types either- 'This and call, that and call... No way! (So when my dad called, it would be a cue that he's really worried and time to move asap, which I didn't...) So what was it that made them let us be the way we were?

Someday, I am going to ask them, what made them give me the liberty they did. And how they managed to keep a tab on their anxiety on all those late nights. But for them, we would not have felt the thrill of being together, nervous, happy---feeling so completely on our own. Perhaps it was their way of throttling us with cartloads of trust. Their trick was to trust us completely, with a child-like innocence and a fanatic reverence.

Someday, I am going to tell them they have been the most fabulous people I have ever met. My parents may not exactly qualify as guiding angels, the kinds who chalk their child’s future with a neatly planned itinerary of courses, degrees and careers.

Mom consistently nagged me to work hard, but she never nagged me to be this or that. Dad, when I look back, was only concerned with my being happy. In his vocabulary, perhaps Happy = Full-stop.

I remember once when I was particularly scared before the boards, I sat with him.

“So, you think you won’t even manage to pass, is it?”
“I am not sure”
A short pause.
“Okay, never mind. Nothing matters, actually. Just stop being afraid. I hate it when you move around with that scared and sad face.”

And then, he said something some other time. From his bed where he sleeps all his time after office, shaking the right leg, my lazy, often irritating, but consistently loving and innocent father promised me late one night:

“Remember, no matter what you do and what the world says, I will always be with you till I am alive”.

At that time, though I was touched, what he said really didn’t make sense given that I hadn’t done, or didn’t even intend to do, anything outrageous. But today, I know. And it feels so good.

I can imagine the child-like glee that our parents are going to have if they happen to see this post.....

If it were not for them me, Sree & Rahul would have never been where we are now...............

a toast to their trust....
john.

Exams over and tension begins....

Friends, for a long time when I was in 12th std, I thought, the day when exams will get over I will truly rejoice, but as matter of fact the real stress came into being when the exams got over. Every morning You look up the newspaper for advertisements of various Colleges and Universities for their admissions. Then surfing the internet to find if the college is good or not, and finding the application form, print it, fill it, ask dad to get the DD, get the passport size photo, photocopy of cerficates...... phew !! and the list goes on..............
Then comes the aptitude tests and preparations for that. What kind of questions they ask? Whom to contact for more details? Where is the test center? How to reach there? again the list goes on....
Then its a long and tensionful wait for the results. These days are really worse. With no work to do and in a state of being nowhere. Being unproductive is the worst part of it. Well, how long can one rely on movies and games to kill time???
Then comes the results. Nothing can be as good as results or as worse as the same. If you manage to score better than some of your friends, your family and to an extend yourself will be satisfied (Remember, just satisfied). But when the other part of it happens, i.e you score less than your friends, then the world seems to be the worst place to be in. Everyone celebrates other than you. Thats one time when you wouldn't like to join in your friends happiness.
But at the end of it everyone dreams..... Dreams of a better place to be in. And its that hope, let me specify, "hope" that helps us to survive these days.... Hoping the best.
And, sometimes we forget to 'prepare for the worst', just in case if fate takes us to we don't like or expect...
Remember guys, sometimes the best things happen after the worstest of happenings. And thats why, never let the HOPE in you die.

Ready to freak out??????????

Hellllllllllllllooooooooo everyone... its been quite long time for us all with books, books n more books....n finally v get a break a deserved one at that...so the hectic study time has come to an end n now its time to be free n do things we had missed for the past few months...

Its time now to put off the exams to the past n look to the future....don't keep brooding about them even if they were not quite pleasing like for me....coz it ain't gonna do you any good....

Wishing you all the very best vacation of your life...May all ur spirits be high just like it has always been at viswajyothi....

love

john.

Life - An interesting Game

I couldn't stop noticing something, life has this funny way of pushing us to do things out of the way....this world is more or less like a trap, setting bait n waiting for us for fall in its deadly snare....We humans always tend to fall in this trap of material pleasures....however hard we may try, we cant stop this from happening....

Though all this about life may be true theres nothing better than it....At times life makes us feel so lonely and left to our own meditations....its during these testing phases that we get struck by ideas, strange but entertaining.....most people to whom life hasn't been the kindest,tend to take pleasure in thinking bad about it....

I have always believed that given the right circumstances people can change... especially when people treat us with love, care and understanding we tend to leave all our dishonest ways behind and move forward to a better life....

Everyone will get such an opportunity in life and when we get it make full use of it.....

'Coz life's really precious and not to be put to waste.....

feeling the wind!!!

I can’t remember the last time my hands felt as liberated as they did, last night. In control, driven to type, write, clean, fold, tap, and braced for action all the time, my unfaltering five finally did what they'd been yearning to — let go. Outstretched in sweet surrender, they flew with the winds on the highway, out of the window, drifting along as the buoyant forces of nature took over to soothe and unburden them of all the responsibilities that they haven’t been devoid of, ever since the end of toddlerhood. It was almost like playing a piano, each finger magically lifted to a different degree… like playing the tunes of the music that was filling the car, like the music of freedom.

I think all you guys should give it try. Letting your soul escape into the wilderness; away from all the stress and tensions.....

THE SOLEMN SOLITUDE

Solitude is a terrible agony

an expatriate bird,causing trepidation

entombed in the prison of chores

the hunger for communion remains

filling the voids of sultry fiction

I give a sight at the blooming pelargonium

as I loiter with calibrated bluffness

stranded like an empty codger

unswirling the lexicon of hollowness

killing the flanky lassitude

the amplitude of my thought proceeds

eternally jinxed;perhaps an exile

the compartment of my mind seems volatile

iridescent human nature

enervating the probity of human mind

allude to bizzare endings

perhaps, with no particular triumph

'oh,my dear' , solitude is no substitute

subvert the instincts to suffuse

extol the harmonious confluence

buoyant with luscious thoughts

penning words of glory..

by, Nivya Elizabeth