My Mum says God has a plan for all of us. And that no matter how many plans we make, only His will work out. Yet, when I look at people around me I marvel at how well they've planned everything in life and seem to know exactly how they want things to be: they marry, have children two years down the line, make smart career moves, invest in the right mutual funds, do whatever and I'm still meandering on a path that God has decided for me!
Sometimes, I grudge that I believe so much in what Mom says. Sometimes I grudge that God will not let us make our plans and stick to them.
For a very long time in my life, I did not know what I wanted from it. And that would have been better than having wanted something only to learn, with a bend in the road, that I'm on a different course altogether.
I don't regret where that road has brought me today. However, I do regret not knowing where I'm headed to now. I don't like the kind of adventure that takes me somewhere I never wanted to go. And I would like to know my destination, so I can prepare accordingly.
I'm not a vagabond who sets out on an aimless journey and makes the journey his purpose. And it troubles me to be living like one. Oh yes, I've done a lot of things in life that I wanted to, not everything in this journey has been accidental. Yet, I feel I haven't done what I was meant to and that somewhere, I've lost track of the path I had set out on. And I hate to measure the cup of life and see it half full when I compare it to others'.
And then I think of what Mum says, maybe God has a plan for me....
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